Unix Airline

Everyone brings one piece of the plane with them when they come to the
airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece
by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building.
When another plane lands nearby the passengers begin breaking up into
meetings and trading pieces of the plane.


Fly NT

Everyone marches out on the runway, says the password in unison, and
forms the outline of an airplane. Then they all sit down and make a
whooshing sound like they're flying. The flight attendant then
announces that soon all flying will be just like this.


DOS Airline

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and
let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then push again,
jump on again, and so on. For relaxation Bill's autobiographies are
tucked in the back of every seat.


MAC Airways

All the flight attendants, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket
agents look the same, act the same. Every time you ask questions about
details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and
everything will be done for you without you having to know, so just
shut up. Cute little signs are everywhere and outside every window
there are flying toasters.


Windows Airline

The airport terminal is nice and colorful with friendly flight
attendants, easy access to the plane, an uneventful takeoff...then th
plane blows up without any warning whatsoever. In mid-air you are
informed that the rest of your flight will be continued on DOS
airline. (See DOS Airline)


Taligent Airline

You apply for a ticket 24 - 36 months in advance and must pay a large
application fee. Then you are alerted that "exclusive" ticket slots are
available on a first come first serve basis. There is no scheduled
departure time for any of the flights but the "exclusive" ticket
purchase will ensure that you get a seat on the first flight --
whenever. After purchasing the "exclusive" ticket at extremely
exorbitant prices you never hear from Taligent Airline again. Feeling
perturbed after 8 months you call the airline and ask about the status
of your flight. You are informed of a "slight slip" in the take-off
schedule and you are informed to call back in 6 months. At this point
you are irate and the Taligent Airline offers a consolation. You are
awarded a privileged "simulation" of what the flight would be like
once they build the plane -- just stop by anytime.


Newton Airline

After buying your ticket 18 months in advance, you finally get to board
the plane. Upon boarding the plane you are asked your name. After 46
times, the flight attendant recognizes your name and then you are
allowed to take your seat. As you are getting ready to take your seat,
the flight attendant announces that you have to repeat the boarding
process because they are out of room and need to re-count to make sure
they can take more passengers.


NeXT Airline

Everyone gets a paint-brush and paints the airport terminal. Right
before takeoff they are told that the plane will have only one engine
and that the air-phones can only be used to call other NeXT Airline
planes. On take-off you are told that its peanuts all the way -- Every
time you ask for food/beverages you are told that other food/beverage
items are not necessary and that these peanuts have no fat and come in
a wonderful black bag, with Steve's picture and personal greetings!


VMS Airline

Everyone has difficulties getting into the plane and once they are in
it starts to make a lot of noise and takes off very slow. The plane
only blows up if you think you are safe. Occasionally the captain
mumbles, "off to the left of the aircraft, you can see the Unix desert,
and don't worry -- we won't be going over there."